I was introduced to this technique earlier in the year, since then I have used it with many clients, helping them see what area(s) of their life is not in balance.
You first draw a circle (wheel) and ask the client what they feel is important in their life at the moment? Employment, Family, Health, Money, Friends, Having Fun, etc
Ask they give you their answers you add them to the wheel (with every answer being a spoke -The Wheel will then look like a pie chart)
With each answer (Employment, as an example) you ask them to scale how happy they currently are with this element on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the lowest – the centre of the wheel and 10 being the highest - the outer edge of the wheel)
Ask the client why they are at that particular number on the scale (The number is not important, as all clients see a scale numbers as different values-some people would never give themselves a ten even if everything was perfect)
Once they give you an answer, ask “anything else” they will often give you two more answers.
Then ask, “What do you need to do to be the next number up the scale?” Clients will often give you (and themselves) 3 new steps or actions to complete. This can be a real eye opener for the client.
Do this for all the “spokes” elements of the Wheel-you may want to re-word the question for the different spokes to ensure the session does not become repetitive.
You and hopefully the clients will often notice a Patten emerging from this exercise and often a priority action or actions will come from this-something the client needs to do first to move forward.
You can also join all the figures on the scale up to visual show the client which areas of the client’s life are positive and which areas the clients would like to improve.
This is a great exercise to start with a new client, as it looks at the clients strengths, areas of development and the client will give themselves Actions to complete. As a coach you can use this exercise to plan what you sessions/coaching techniques would help move your client forward.
You can also use this exercise on one element of their life (Employment as an example) and break the chosen subject down into smaller sections.
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Saturday, 12 December 2009
Employment King
A brand new website has just been launched www.employmentking.co.uk
If you or your clients are struggling to gain work, they can buy and instantly down load an Employment E-book (secrets of Employment) The e-book is full of life coaching and NLP techniques to support clients into employment - A must for all job searchers.
In addition the website has a FREE job search engine and other useful job searching information to help you gain your dream job. Also clients can gain online or face to face Career Coaching Sessions.
If you or your clients are struggling to gain work, they can buy and instantly down load an Employment E-book (secrets of Employment) The e-book is full of life coaching and NLP techniques to support clients into employment - A must for all job searchers.
In addition the website has a FREE job search engine and other useful job searching information to help you gain your dream job. Also clients can gain online or face to face Career Coaching Sessions.
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Integrating Conflicting Parts – The Visual Squash Technique
At this month’s NLP Practice Group, we practiced the Parts Integration Technique. As with most NLP techniques there are several versions of this exercise. The practice group member’s first read the technique then practised the technique without using a script allowing us to use our knowledge, imagination and response from the “client” to complete the exercise. This worked well and the flow of the technique was a lot smoother then when following a script.
Integrating Conflicting Parts – The Visual Squash Technique
At some point in our lives we will inevitably run into times when 'part' of us wants to do one thing and another ‘part’ of us wants to do something else. For example: ‘’Part of me wants to be super fit and healthy, but then another part of me wants the pleasure of eating sugary, calorie rich junk food’’. Whether it's a bad habit or an important decision you or your client is wanting to get to grips with, it is the inner conflict being experienced that prevents us from acting the right way.
In principle, the Visual Squash technique involves identifying the parts involved with the conflict and discovering their common intention before having the parts integrated. It is useful to talk to each part and have them acknowledge that each part had a positive intention for the other and that their conflict is stopping both parts from achieving their common purpose.
1. Identify two parts of yourself that may be in conflict.
2. Ask the problem part to come out and stand on one hand or to your side.
3. Imagine the part as a person or object and see what the person/object looks like, sounds like, and (what feelings and thoughts that person has) or (the weight and texture of the object)
4. Ask the second part to come out and stand on the other hand/side.
5. Imagine the second part as a person or object and see what the person/object looks like, sounds like, and (what feelings and thoughts that person has) or (the weight and texture of the object)
6. Starting with the first part, ask each part, ‘what is your positive intention and purpose?’ Keep repeating the question until both parts intentions are fully understood. Recognise that both parts are trying to help you.
7. Ask each part individually what resources it has that would benefit the shared goal of helping you. Is there anything useful about part one that will help part two? And vice versa?
8. Recognise whether there is a persuasion to one part more than the other. Does one part have better resources to achieve the shared goal of helping you with the support of the second part?
9. Bring both your hands together and fully integrate the parts and their positive resources…
Integrating Conflicting Parts – The Visual Squash Technique
At some point in our lives we will inevitably run into times when 'part' of us wants to do one thing and another ‘part’ of us wants to do something else. For example: ‘’Part of me wants to be super fit and healthy, but then another part of me wants the pleasure of eating sugary, calorie rich junk food’’. Whether it's a bad habit or an important decision you or your client is wanting to get to grips with, it is the inner conflict being experienced that prevents us from acting the right way.
In principle, the Visual Squash technique involves identifying the parts involved with the conflict and discovering their common intention before having the parts integrated. It is useful to talk to each part and have them acknowledge that each part had a positive intention for the other and that their conflict is stopping both parts from achieving their common purpose.
1. Identify two parts of yourself that may be in conflict.
2. Ask the problem part to come out and stand on one hand or to your side.
3. Imagine the part as a person or object and see what the person/object looks like, sounds like, and (what feelings and thoughts that person has) or (the weight and texture of the object)
4. Ask the second part to come out and stand on the other hand/side.
5. Imagine the second part as a person or object and see what the person/object looks like, sounds like, and (what feelings and thoughts that person has) or (the weight and texture of the object)
6. Starting with the first part, ask each part, ‘what is your positive intention and purpose?’ Keep repeating the question until both parts intentions are fully understood. Recognise that both parts are trying to help you.
7. Ask each part individually what resources it has that would benefit the shared goal of helping you. Is there anything useful about part one that will help part two? And vice versa?
8. Recognise whether there is a persuasion to one part more than the other. Does one part have better resources to achieve the shared goal of helping you with the support of the second part?
9. Bring both your hands together and fully integrate the parts and their positive resources…
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
December 2009 - Last Practice session of the Year
Hi all,
The last NLP practice group in 2009 will be held on Wednesday 9th December. As requested by several members, we will be practicing the "Parts Integrated" technique.
As always the NLP Practice Group sessions are open to anyone interested in NLP, we have a mixture of NLP Practitioners, Master Practitioners and none NLP-ers who use the practice group sessions to improve their NLP techniques and knowledge.
Everyone is welcome, many people come alone, as the group members are all friendly and approachable.
The practice group will continue as normal in the new year, with the first 2010 NLP practice Group session on Wednesday 13/01/2010.
Finally, we recently wrote an article on gaining rapport-one of the members added a great link to the Coaching Leaders Blog (on the comments section of the article) and an article on "What classic NLP doesn't tell you about rapport"
If you have not already-check out the Coaching Leaders Website and Blog on www.manchesternlp.com for a large amount of varied NLP information.
We look forward to seeing you all at the next NLP Practice Group Session
Chris and Sandie
The last NLP practice group in 2009 will be held on Wednesday 9th December. As requested by several members, we will be practicing the "Parts Integrated" technique.
As always the NLP Practice Group sessions are open to anyone interested in NLP, we have a mixture of NLP Practitioners, Master Practitioners and none NLP-ers who use the practice group sessions to improve their NLP techniques and knowledge.
Everyone is welcome, many people come alone, as the group members are all friendly and approachable.
The practice group will continue as normal in the new year, with the first 2010 NLP practice Group session on Wednesday 13/01/2010.
Finally, we recently wrote an article on gaining rapport-one of the members added a great link to the Coaching Leaders Blog (on the comments section of the article) and an article on "What classic NLP doesn't tell you about rapport"
If you have not already-check out the Coaching Leaders Website and Blog on www.manchesternlp.com for a large amount of varied NLP information.
We look forward to seeing you all at the next NLP Practice Group Session
Chris and Sandie
Friday, 27 November 2009
NLP DVDs
As well as using a wide varity of NLP books to improve your learning, you can also download NLP DVD's. Click on the link below...
NLP Training
NLP Training
Thursday, 26 November 2009
For NLP Coaches
A reference guide to effective complimentary/introductory coaching sessions.
To ensure your potential clients always come back for more!
Many professional coaches offer a short complimentary coaching session to potential clients as the first stage of the coaching relationship. It's a way to get to break the ice with a new client and allow the client to experience what it will be like working with you. Here is a quick reference guide to a complimentary session, to ensure you make the most of it.
There are five things you really want to accomplish during your first coaching conversation:-
1. Connection. Make a personal connection with your client. Build rapport with your client so conversation flows easily and the relationship gets off to a great start.
2. Motivation. What motivated the client to call you today? Explore and understand what the client is motivated to pursue, and how you can help.
3. Presentation. Once you know what the client is motivated to pursue, show the client how coaching can help them.
4. Information. What information does the client need to make a decision? What is making them hesitate? Provide the client with all the information they need to allow them to make a well informed decision.
5. Decision. Ask for a commitment. Ask the client what time/dates are best to begin working together.
And here are some all important key questions to get you started as you work your way through the 5 stages ...
Connection
- What inspired/motivated you to call today?
- Tell me more about yourself
- Let me tell you a bit about myself
- What interests you most about coaching?
- What do you think would be the best thing about having a coach to work with?
Motivation
- What are the top three challenges that you face right now?
- What is the biggest thing that you would like to change right now?
- What is motivating you right now? Are you keen to work towards something or are you eager to move away from something?
- What would it be like experience a change in this area? How good would it feel? How good does that sound?
- What would it mean to you if this was never to change?
- What's your main hesitation about working with a coach?
- What outcome would make this coaching relationship a great success?
Presentation
- What would a great coach be like for you? How would they keep you motivated?
- What will be the greatest challenge the coach will face in working with you?
- So here's how I work with that kind of goal...
- Here's an example of how I helped someone with that kind of goal...
- Here's what I do best as a coach...
- Do my skills as a coach match your needs as a client?
- Here is what you can expect whilst working with me...
Information
- This is what a typical session will be like...
- How often we will meet, and for how long
- I will call you/You will call me
- What is expected of you in between session...
- Fees/Procedure/Commitment
- Is there anything else you are curious about?
- Is there anything you are not sure about?
- Does this answer all your questions?
- How does this sound/feel/look?
Decision
- Is there anything else you need to know to help you make a decision about working with a coach?
- How would you like to proceed?
- Would you like to take the next step and arrange your first coaching session?
- I noticed a hesitation, what's stopping you?
- What would you like to know to help you move forward right now?
- Shall we set a date? What times/dates are best for you?
Hopefully by the end of the five stages you will know whether you can work with the client; you will have a detailed understanding of your clients main concerns and motivations, in life and in starting a coaching relationship; and you will have a date in your diary for your first coaching session.
However, if the client decides not to proceed with a coaching relationship, you will know why. You will know at which stage the client hesitated, broke rapport or voiced a concern. You can now consider whether you want to be flexible to the clients exact needs, whether you want to do something different, and at what stage that difference will make the biggest difference.
If you have any ideas or great coaching questions that will make this reference guide even more effective please let us know.
Email: nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
Good Luck with your coaching and let us know how you get on.
Sandie
High Peak Life Coach
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
Rapport
Several NLP Practice Group members are using the techniques we have been learning/practicing to help other people move forward.
One of the most important aspects when working with others is to gain Rapport.
What is Rapport?
Rapport is a Relationship, one of mutual trust or emotional affinity that exists between people when they are at ease with one another and where communication is occurring easily.
Why use this?
People like people who are like themselves; In general, we gravitate towards people that we consider similar to us. When you gain Rapport, common ground and similarities are emphasised and the differences are minimised.
Rapport is an essential for successful communication - if there is no rapport when there is no communication!
We all experience Rapport.
We naturally all experience rapport, this is common with close friends, family and with others whom we share common interest with. The skill is for you to be able to create rapport with anybody, in any setting.
Gaining Rapport.
Copy body language
Match Breathing patterns
Match the tone and speed of your client’s voice
Copy eye contact patterns; use their language preference (VAK)
* This needs to be subtle.
(This is sometimes called 'pacing’)
Once you have gained Rapport you can then 'Lead' your client by making small non-matching changes in your own behaviour. If they follow (typically 30-60 seconds later) with a similar shift then you have rapport. If not go back to the above to re-gain Rapport.
Use Interest to gain Rapport.
One of the most effective ways to create rapport by having a genuine interest in the other person’s model of the world, experiencing the world exactly as they do.
Developing Rapport building skills.
That's all there is to it - observation and practice.
Remember to be subtle, if the Rapport process intrudes the other person’s conscious awareness, they will not respond well to you.
With practice you will be able to easily create rapport with total strangers in just a few minutes, whether or not you like them, and whether or not you have any areas of common interest.
Several NLP Practice Group members are using the techniques we have been learning/practicing to help other people move forward.
One of the most important aspects when working with others is to gain Rapport.
What is Rapport?
Rapport is a Relationship, one of mutual trust or emotional affinity that exists between people when they are at ease with one another and where communication is occurring easily.
Why use this?
People like people who are like themselves; In general, we gravitate towards people that we consider similar to us. When you gain Rapport, common ground and similarities are emphasised and the differences are minimised.
Rapport is an essential for successful communication - if there is no rapport when there is no communication!
We all experience Rapport.
We naturally all experience rapport, this is common with close friends, family and with others whom we share common interest with. The skill is for you to be able to create rapport with anybody, in any setting.
Gaining Rapport.
Copy body language
Match Breathing patterns
Match the tone and speed of your client’s voice
Copy eye contact patterns; use their language preference (VAK)
* This needs to be subtle.
(This is sometimes called 'pacing’)
Once you have gained Rapport you can then 'Lead' your client by making small non-matching changes in your own behaviour. If they follow (typically 30-60 seconds later) with a similar shift then you have rapport. If not go back to the above to re-gain Rapport.
Use Interest to gain Rapport.
One of the most effective ways to create rapport by having a genuine interest in the other person’s model of the world, experiencing the world exactly as they do.
Developing Rapport building skills.
To improve your ability to create rapport you need to have excellent sensory acuity and calibration skills.
Spend time practising just one form of matching until you can use this easily. For most this will become an unconscious skill.
Once you have learnt one form, practice a second, then a third and so on.
That's all there is to it - observation and practice.
Remember to be subtle, if the Rapport process intrudes the other person’s conscious awareness, they will not respond well to you.
With practice you will be able to easily create rapport with total strangers in just a few minutes, whether or not you like them, and whether or not you have any areas of common interest.
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
NLP Videos
Hi all
As well as practicing NLP techniques each month, many practitioners also find it useful to watch NLP experts deliver the techniques.
This month we have added 2 NLP videos for your use: Please click the link below.
What is NLP by Richard Bandler
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vlcsFJyEXQ
Fast Phobia Removal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtUatMghbHg
As well as practicing NLP techniques each month, many practitioners also find it useful to watch NLP experts deliver the techniques.
This month we have added 2 NLP videos for your use: Please click the link below.
What is NLP by Richard Bandler
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vlcsFJyEXQ
Fast Phobia Removal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtUatMghbHg
Sunday, 15 November 2009
At this months NLP Practice Group Meeting, we started the session by discussing NLP books, one of the members (and myself) had the 5 minute NLP book; a pocket size NLP book which is ideal for people new to NLP for carrying around and dipping into for reference.
To check reviews and to buy (around £4) click the link below:
I have also add a large list of other various NLP books for beginners to experts, follow the link below:
NLP Books
If you would like to recommend any NLP books please e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
To check reviews and to buy (around £4) click the link below:
I have also add a large list of other various NLP books for beginners to experts, follow the link below:
NLP Books
If you would like to recommend any NLP books please e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
Friday, 13 November 2009
Logical Levels
Hi all,
This month the group practiced using a questioning model based on NLP Logical Levels. Many of the group had not used logical levels before in any depth and could only vaguely remember this technique from our practitioner courses.
Firstly, as a group we read and discussed the technique. From just reading the step by step description of the technique many of us still did not have a full understanding of how effective using the model would be. Once we had discussed the practice, we split up into small groups, each group having an observer, and practicing going through the logical levels with a specific goal or problem in mind. After a short period of time it quickly became clear just how powerful working through each level was in helping to understand what that goal really meant to the client, and at what level changes would best enable the client to move towards their goal.
This lead us on to discuss how important and effective it is to practice NLP techniques. By experiencing the techniques as both a practitioner and a client, we can assist you in understanding the technique on more coherent level.
If like this months practice group members you don’t fully understand Logical Levels, then I would highly recommend reading through the technique and practicing with someone soon in order to benefit from the power of this great exercise.
This month the group practiced using a questioning model based on NLP Logical Levels. Many of the group had not used logical levels before in any depth and could only vaguely remember this technique from our practitioner courses.
Firstly, as a group we read and discussed the technique. From just reading the step by step description of the technique many of us still did not have a full understanding of how effective using the model would be. Once we had discussed the practice, we split up into small groups, each group having an observer, and practicing going through the logical levels with a specific goal or problem in mind. After a short period of time it quickly became clear just how powerful working through each level was in helping to understand what that goal really meant to the client, and at what level changes would best enable the client to move towards their goal.
This lead us on to discuss how important and effective it is to practice NLP techniques. By experiencing the techniques as both a practitioner and a client, we can assist you in understanding the technique on more coherent level.
If like this months practice group members you don’t fully understand Logical Levels, then I would highly recommend reading through the technique and practicing with someone soon in order to benefit from the power of this great exercise.
NLP Logical Levels - Outcome Focused
NLP Logical Levels are a powerful way to think about change and a way to gather information and understanding about a problem or a goal that require changes, and to understand at what levels the changes need to occur.
The Logical Level technique helps you align yourself or your clients so that everything is pulling in the same direction to achieve your goal.
The 6 Logical Levels:
1) Environment - Where, When and With Whom?
2) Behaviour - What are you doing?
3) Capabilities - How do you do that? How would you do that?
4) Beliefs and Values - Why do you want that? Why is that important to you?
5) Identity - Who are you? Who were you? Who do you want to be?
6) Spirituality - What for, or for Whom?
The Technique:
First gain rapport with your client.
Step 1;
Ask the client “what is the goal they would like to achieve or problem they would like to resolve” Remember to ask the client to re-frame the ‘negative’ problem into a ‘positive’ goal.
When asking questions around the 6 Logical levels ask them about the past, present and future.
Step 2; Environment (The environment around you such as your home, your community, living arrangements, the people around you, your tools and resources)
Ask “how does your environment affect your goal?” What are your external opportunities or constraints?
Example questions:-
“Where do you work best?
“What kind of people do you like to have around you?
“Where are your resources?”
“Where do you gain support?”
Step 3. Behaviours (What you consciously do, and what you think about)
Ask “What specifically do you do” “If I was you, what would I be doing?”
Example Questions:-
“What do you do that makes life fun and interesting?”
“What do you find yourself saying habitually? Can you see any patterns?
“Do your actions fit in with your sense of who you are?”
“What do you sound like?”
Step 4. Capabilities (your abilities, skills, talents, knowledge and competency)
Ask “What skills, competency and knowledge do you have?”
Example Question:-
“What skills have you learnt that you are proud of?”
“What would people who know you well say you are good at?”
“Do you know someone who has the skills you’d like to have?”
“How do you know you are effective?”
Step 5. Beliefs and Values (Your beliefs and values are your guiding force of your actions and decisions. What do you strongly believe in?)
Ask “What do you believe and value?”
Example Questions:-
“Why did you do that? Why did they do that?”
“What factors are important to you in this situation?”
“What do you believe to be right and wrong?”
“What has to be true for you to get what you want?
“What are your beliefs about this person or situations? Are they helpful What beliefs might be help me you get better results?”?
Step 6. Identity (The sense of who you are)
Ask “What is the definition of who you are and what you stand for”
Example Question:-
“What kind of person are you?”
“How is what you are experiencing an expression of who you are?”
“How would you describe yourself?”
“How would others describe you?”
Step 7. Spirituality (Our role and duty as a spiritual being, our connectedness to the universe)
Ask “What is your meaning in life?”
Example Question:-
“For what reason are you here?”
“What would you like your contribution to be to others?”
“How would you like to be remembered when you’re gone?”
NLP Logical Levels are a powerful way to think about change and a way to gather information and understanding about a problem or a goal that require changes, and to understand at what levels the changes need to occur.
The Logical Level technique helps you align yourself or your clients so that everything is pulling in the same direction to achieve your goal.
The 6 Logical Levels:
1) Environment - Where, When and With Whom?
2) Behaviour - What are you doing?
3) Capabilities - How do you do that? How would you do that?
4) Beliefs and Values - Why do you want that? Why is that important to you?
5) Identity - Who are you? Who were you? Who do you want to be?
6) Spirituality - What for, or for Whom?
The Technique:
First gain rapport with your client.
Step 1;
Ask the client “what is the goal they would like to achieve or problem they would like to resolve” Remember to ask the client to re-frame the ‘negative’ problem into a ‘positive’ goal.
When asking questions around the 6 Logical levels ask them about the past, present and future.
Step 2; Environment (The environment around you such as your home, your community, living arrangements, the people around you, your tools and resources)
Ask “how does your environment affect your goal?” What are your external opportunities or constraints?
Example questions:-
“Where do you work best?
“What kind of people do you like to have around you?
“Where are your resources?”
“Where do you gain support?”
Step 3. Behaviours (What you consciously do, and what you think about)
Ask “What specifically do you do” “If I was you, what would I be doing?”
Example Questions:-
“What do you do that makes life fun and interesting?”
“What do you find yourself saying habitually? Can you see any patterns?
“Do your actions fit in with your sense of who you are?”
“What do you sound like?”
Step 4. Capabilities (your abilities, skills, talents, knowledge and competency)
Ask “What skills, competency and knowledge do you have?”
Example Question:-
“What skills have you learnt that you are proud of?”
“What would people who know you well say you are good at?”
“Do you know someone who has the skills you’d like to have?”
“How do you know you are effective?”
Step 5. Beliefs and Values (Your beliefs and values are your guiding force of your actions and decisions. What do you strongly believe in?)
Ask “What do you believe and value?”
Example Questions:-
“Why did you do that? Why did they do that?”
“What factors are important to you in this situation?”
“What do you believe to be right and wrong?”
“What has to be true for you to get what you want?
“What are your beliefs about this person or situations? Are they helpful What beliefs might be help me you get better results?”?
Step 6. Identity (The sense of who you are)
Ask “What is the definition of who you are and what you stand for”
Example Question:-
“What kind of person are you?”
“How is what you are experiencing an expression of who you are?”
“How would you describe yourself?”
“How would others describe you?”
Step 7. Spirituality (Our role and duty as a spiritual being, our connectedness to the universe)
Ask “What is your meaning in life?”
Example Question:-
“For what reason are you here?”
“What would you like your contribution to be to others?”
“How would you like to be remembered when you’re gone?”
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Using NLP Quick Phobia Removal Techique on clients
Hello Friends and Practitioners
At the last practice group meeting we practiced the Quick Phobia Removal Technique. The follow week I met up with one of the practice group members who wanted to reduce her phobia.
We met in a noisy café in Manchester and during the initial stages of the techniques, while I was relaxing the client using The Milton Model, I asked her how she was feeling and she responded saying “she felt relaxed but the noise around us was putting her off” I responded by saying “It is good that you are feeling more relaxed and as you concentrate on my voice you notice all the other noises starting to fade away….” After the technique she said the noises in the coffee house disappeared after I said this.
We carried out the techniques, adding funny music and cartoon characters to the client’s film of the phobia. By the end of the technique we did a future vision, and said she felt “OK” To ensure the phobia worked I told the client “as I new what your phobia was before we met today, I have brought (the clients phobia) with me for you to hold. The client said, “she was OK with this” - It really exciting to use the practised techniques for real and to get a positive result for the client.
Have you used any of the practised techniques with any positive results? Drop-us e-mail and we will add your comments to the blog.
Chris
At the last practice group meeting we practiced the Quick Phobia Removal Technique. The follow week I met up with one of the practice group members who wanted to reduce her phobia.
We met in a noisy café in Manchester and during the initial stages of the techniques, while I was relaxing the client using The Milton Model, I asked her how she was feeling and she responded saying “she felt relaxed but the noise around us was putting her off” I responded by saying “It is good that you are feeling more relaxed and as you concentrate on my voice you notice all the other noises starting to fade away….” After the technique she said the noises in the coffee house disappeared after I said this.
We carried out the techniques, adding funny music and cartoon characters to the client’s film of the phobia. By the end of the technique we did a future vision, and said she felt “OK” To ensure the phobia worked I told the client “as I new what your phobia was before we met today, I have brought (the clients phobia) with me for you to hold. The client said, “she was OK with this” - It really exciting to use the practised techniques for real and to get a positive result for the client.
Have you used any of the practised techniques with any positive results? Drop-us e-mail and we will add your comments to the blog.
Chris
Solution Focus-how to use the Miracle Question"
Thanks to Andy Smith for posting this article:
NLP/EQ tip: Solution Focus - how to use the "Miracle Question"
Here's a mildly unpleasant thought experiment. Sorry to do this to you, but it is going somewhere and it does get better, honest.
Imagine meeting one of your friends for lunch, and they spend a whole hour telling you about everything that's wrong with their life - in great detail. How would you feel at the end of that hour? Drained, miserable, bored, discouraged? Well, if you would feel like that just from spending that time listening to someone's problems, imagine how much more miserable the friend would be after talking about nothing but their problems for an hour.
Now instead, imagine that your friend is telling you all about how things are going to be when they have solved their problems, and how they want things to be. How are you going to feel after an hour of that? Inspired, enthused, happy for them, uplifted? Well if you feel that way, imagine how much better your friend is going to feel - since it's their life they are talking about.
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Our habitual impulse when we have a problem is to spend time thinking about that problem to find ways of trying to solve it. The downside of focusing on our problems is that we get more involved in them the more we think about them. A problem can seem to expand until it takes up all of our attention and there's no room to think about anything else.
And of course the more we think about a problem, the worse we tend to feel. In NLP terms we would say that we get into an 'unresourceful state', where it's harder to find the skills and abilities that come easily to us when we are having a good day.
With simple problems it's often glaringly obvious what we need to do to fix them. So we fix them, and move on. Maybe it's so quick and easy to fix that we don't even register it as a problem. But many problems are more complex. So how can we engage with those and still stay resourceful enough to give ourselves the best chance of finding a way out?
The answer is simple. Once you're aware of the problem, stop trying to fix it. Instead, turn your attention to what it will be like when the problem is solved. What do you want instead of the problem?
------
Focusing on the solution (without worrying for the moment about how you are going to get there) does a number of things. Immediately you start to feel better, because what you're thinking about is pleasant rather than unpleasant. This makes it easier to access your inner resources.
Also, the more fully you imagine the solution and the more detail you go into, the more you are making the connections in your brain that you will need to actually make the solution happen. This will improve your performance, as sports psychology has shown. The vast majority of successful athletes use mental rehearsal, and studies repeatedly show that mental rehearsal enhances performance (see for example http://tinyurl.com/2zwavb).
Most importantly, if you want to find a solution, the best place to look for it is anywhere but in the problem. Once you know where you want to get to, you can start finding your way there. Once you have the idea of your solution, you can start making it real.
Solution-focused therapy, developed by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg at the Brief Family Therapy Center, Milwaukee, is based on these principles. The beauty of solution focus is that it's simple to use. Although it originated as a therapy method, it can be used in coaching, in solving business problems, and you can use it to help yourself. As a method, it fits very nicely with NLP as it shares a number of assumptions.
Berg and de Shazer developed a number of simple and elegant methods to help us turn away from habitual problem focus towards solutions. I'll introduce a couple more in future newsletters - this time let's look at one of the most powerful problem-solving methods there is: the 'Miracle Question'.
------
Exercise: The Miracle Question
If you have some problem in mind, ask yourself this question: Let's imagine that while you're asleep tonight a miracle happens and the problem is completely solved. You don't realise this, of course, because you're still asleep - so when you wake up what will be the first thing that tells you that this miracle has happened? What else will tell you?
Give yourself some time to answer this (especially if your first answer is "I don't know" - just asking the question will get your mind moving in the right direction both consciously and unconsciously. Write down everything that you think of. You are beginning to build the solution (or solutions) in your mind.
NLP buffs will notice that being asked this question shifts the listener from a "problem frame" to an "outcome frame". Framing your thoughts like this is important because it influences the way you think about things, making it much more likely that your imagination will produce something that will help you.
------
A couple of supplementary questions you can ask:
1. Who else would notice that this miracle has happened? What would tell them?
This question encourages you to step outside of yourself and think about what would be different in your observable behaviour if the problem were solved. Once you're aware of this, it's a very short step to beginning to act differently.
2. Does anyone else have to change in order for this miracle to happen?
Out of dozens of clients I've asked this question, everyone has said 'no'. Of course, having just described your answer to the miracle question makes it a lot easier to realise that you are able to make the changes you need in your life.
------
Given a goal to focus on, your unconscious mind will surprise you by noticing opportunities and coming up with creative ways to get there. So why not try out the miracle question, either by yourself by writing your answers or by getting a friend to ask you the questions. And do email me to let me know how you get on.
In a future posting we'll look at another powerful tool from Solution Focus - "Scaling Questions".
Note: The thought experiment at the beginning of this article is adapted from the start of 'Words Were Originally Magic' by Steve de Shazer. It's a great book; it does get a little bogged down in a discussion of post-structuralist philosophy but soon recovers when he gets into describing the model, applications and therapy transcripts. You can order it from Amazon.uk or from Amazon.com or from Amazon.ca.
Further note: while researching this article I discovered from the Brief Family Therapy Center web site that Insoo Kim Berg passed away on January 10th 2007. I hadn't registered this because I was on holiday for most of January. Both Insoo and Steve (d. 2005) made an enormous contribution to development of psychotherapy. On the site you can find some DVDs and downloadable articles about solution focused therapy.
NLP/EQ tip: Solution Focus - how to use the "Miracle Question"
Here's a mildly unpleasant thought experiment. Sorry to do this to you, but it is going somewhere and it does get better, honest.
Imagine meeting one of your friends for lunch, and they spend a whole hour telling you about everything that's wrong with their life - in great detail. How would you feel at the end of that hour? Drained, miserable, bored, discouraged? Well, if you would feel like that just from spending that time listening to someone's problems, imagine how much more miserable the friend would be after talking about nothing but their problems for an hour.
Now instead, imagine that your friend is telling you all about how things are going to be when they have solved their problems, and how they want things to be. How are you going to feel after an hour of that? Inspired, enthused, happy for them, uplifted? Well if you feel that way, imagine how much better your friend is going to feel - since it's their life they are talking about.
------
Our habitual impulse when we have a problem is to spend time thinking about that problem to find ways of trying to solve it. The downside of focusing on our problems is that we get more involved in them the more we think about them. A problem can seem to expand until it takes up all of our attention and there's no room to think about anything else.
And of course the more we think about a problem, the worse we tend to feel. In NLP terms we would say that we get into an 'unresourceful state', where it's harder to find the skills and abilities that come easily to us when we are having a good day.
With simple problems it's often glaringly obvious what we need to do to fix them. So we fix them, and move on. Maybe it's so quick and easy to fix that we don't even register it as a problem. But many problems are more complex. So how can we engage with those and still stay resourceful enough to give ourselves the best chance of finding a way out?
The answer is simple. Once you're aware of the problem, stop trying to fix it. Instead, turn your attention to what it will be like when the problem is solved. What do you want instead of the problem?
------
Focusing on the solution (without worrying for the moment about how you are going to get there) does a number of things. Immediately you start to feel better, because what you're thinking about is pleasant rather than unpleasant. This makes it easier to access your inner resources.
Also, the more fully you imagine the solution and the more detail you go into, the more you are making the connections in your brain that you will need to actually make the solution happen. This will improve your performance, as sports psychology has shown. The vast majority of successful athletes use mental rehearsal, and studies repeatedly show that mental rehearsal enhances performance (see for example http://tinyurl.com/2zwavb).
Most importantly, if you want to find a solution, the best place to look for it is anywhere but in the problem. Once you know where you want to get to, you can start finding your way there. Once you have the idea of your solution, you can start making it real.
Solution-focused therapy, developed by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg at the Brief Family Therapy Center, Milwaukee, is based on these principles. The beauty of solution focus is that it's simple to use. Although it originated as a therapy method, it can be used in coaching, in solving business problems, and you can use it to help yourself. As a method, it fits very nicely with NLP as it shares a number of assumptions.
Berg and de Shazer developed a number of simple and elegant methods to help us turn away from habitual problem focus towards solutions. I'll introduce a couple more in future newsletters - this time let's look at one of the most powerful problem-solving methods there is: the 'Miracle Question'.
------
Exercise: The Miracle Question
If you have some problem in mind, ask yourself this question: Let's imagine that while you're asleep tonight a miracle happens and the problem is completely solved. You don't realise this, of course, because you're still asleep - so when you wake up what will be the first thing that tells you that this miracle has happened? What else will tell you?
Give yourself some time to answer this (especially if your first answer is "I don't know" - just asking the question will get your mind moving in the right direction both consciously and unconsciously. Write down everything that you think of. You are beginning to build the solution (or solutions) in your mind.
NLP buffs will notice that being asked this question shifts the listener from a "problem frame" to an "outcome frame". Framing your thoughts like this is important because it influences the way you think about things, making it much more likely that your imagination will produce something that will help you.
------
A couple of supplementary questions you can ask:
1. Who else would notice that this miracle has happened? What would tell them?
This question encourages you to step outside of yourself and think about what would be different in your observable behaviour if the problem were solved. Once you're aware of this, it's a very short step to beginning to act differently.
2. Does anyone else have to change in order for this miracle to happen?
Out of dozens of clients I've asked this question, everyone has said 'no'. Of course, having just described your answer to the miracle question makes it a lot easier to realise that you are able to make the changes you need in your life.
------
Given a goal to focus on, your unconscious mind will surprise you by noticing opportunities and coming up with creative ways to get there. So why not try out the miracle question, either by yourself by writing your answers or by getting a friend to ask you the questions. And do email me to let me know how you get on.
In a future posting we'll look at another powerful tool from Solution Focus - "Scaling Questions".
Note: The thought experiment at the beginning of this article is adapted from the start of 'Words Were Originally Magic' by Steve de Shazer. It's a great book; it does get a little bogged down in a discussion of post-structuralist philosophy but soon recovers when he gets into describing the model, applications and therapy transcripts. You can order it from Amazon.uk or from Amazon.com or from Amazon.ca.
Further note: while researching this article I discovered from the Brief Family Therapy Center web site that Insoo Kim Berg passed away on January 10th 2007. I hadn't registered this because I was on holiday for most of January. Both Insoo and Steve (d. 2005) made an enormous contribution to development of psychotherapy. On the site you can find some DVDs and downloadable articles about solution focused therapy.
Friday, 30 October 2009
NLP Presuppositions
NLP presuppositions are extremely useful as a guide to the thinking behind NLP.
There are many NLP Presuppositions; below you will find some of the best-known NLP pre-suppositions to help get you started.
If you go on doing what you're doing now you are very likely to go on getting the same results as you are getting now
This pre-supposition is saying that we are each responsible for our own lives. Even though we cant change what happens in the world around us we can control how we respond to these events. When we change the way we respond, we will change the result we get.
If you want something different you must do something different, and keep varying your behaviour until you get the result that you want
Here we learn that there is a solution to every situation if you're prepared to keeping on looking until you find it.
You cannot not communicate
This pre-supposition says that we are always communicating, by what we do or don't say, and by non-verbal signals. People instantly make opinions on others by the way that person stands/walks-This is part of non-verbal communication
The meaning of your communication is the response that you get
People will respond to what they think you mean, which may be an accurate or inaccurate interpretation of your intended meaning. We need to talk to people rather then at people. By recognising people’s responses we can change our communication to suit the individual.
The map is not the territory
We are always slightly separated from 'reality'. We draw maps, but the map is not actually the place it depicts and we need to be responsive to what is actually happening around us rather than complaining that things aren't as they should be.
If one person can do something, anyone else can learn to do it
We can model people who are excellent in an activity in such a way as to identify what they do that gives them such a positive outcomes. Once we identify the differences and the systems they use we can communicate this to other people who can then learn to perform with a similar level of skill and excellence.
There is no such thing as failure, only feedback
When something doesn't go as we planned, some people will see this as failure. If we see the situation as feedback rather than failure, we start to change from a negative to positive state. Instead of feeling bad we feel free to form a new plan of action and try again, asking ourselves what can I learn from my last experience.
Do you want to add any more NLP presuppositions? E-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com and we will add them to the blog
There are many NLP Presuppositions; below you will find some of the best-known NLP pre-suppositions to help get you started.
If you go on doing what you're doing now you are very likely to go on getting the same results as you are getting now
This pre-supposition is saying that we are each responsible for our own lives. Even though we cant change what happens in the world around us we can control how we respond to these events. When we change the way we respond, we will change the result we get.
If you want something different you must do something different, and keep varying your behaviour until you get the result that you want
Here we learn that there is a solution to every situation if you're prepared to keeping on looking until you find it.
You cannot not communicate
This pre-supposition says that we are always communicating, by what we do or don't say, and by non-verbal signals. People instantly make opinions on others by the way that person stands/walks-This is part of non-verbal communication
The meaning of your communication is the response that you get
People will respond to what they think you mean, which may be an accurate or inaccurate interpretation of your intended meaning. We need to talk to people rather then at people. By recognising people’s responses we can change our communication to suit the individual.
The map is not the territory
We are always slightly separated from 'reality'. We draw maps, but the map is not actually the place it depicts and we need to be responsive to what is actually happening around us rather than complaining that things aren't as they should be.
If one person can do something, anyone else can learn to do it
We can model people who are excellent in an activity in such a way as to identify what they do that gives them such a positive outcomes. Once we identify the differences and the systems they use we can communicate this to other people who can then learn to perform with a similar level of skill and excellence.
There is no such thing as failure, only feedback
When something doesn't go as we planned, some people will see this as failure. If we see the situation as feedback rather than failure, we start to change from a negative to positive state. Instead of feeling bad we feel free to form a new plan of action and try again, asking ourselves what can I learn from my last experience.
Do you want to add any more NLP presuppositions? E-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com and we will add them to the blog
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Being Bullied?
I learnt this technique whilst on my NLP practitioners course and recently successfully used it with a client:
Force Field
My client a teenager, was often bullied at school, being called a wide range of names and insults, this has effected her confidence as she became older and still hears the bullies name calling in her head.
I put my client in a positive state and then told her I had a magical invisible box, as soon as she opens this box a force field will jump out, as it did I asked her to describe it to me (often this is a force-field suit or tube) this time it was a tube shape that surround her body and lifted above her head.
I then asked the client to describe the force field, asking what colour it is, what sound it makes, etc. from this she stepped out of the force field leaving all positiveness in the force field and broke state. I told when she is in the force field, is she moves the force field will move with her.
I put put her in and out of the force field 3 times anchoring positive feelings into the force field.
I then asked the client to recall a time someone called her names and asked her again to step into the force field and feel the positive feelings, see and hear the hum of the force field. From this she said the name calling already felt less intense.
Instead of hearing the words, I asked her to visualise the words coming towards her, and asked her to describe it to me; she seen big black capital letters. we slowed the words down and told her that as they reach the force field something amazing will happen and they wont be able to enter the force field, I ask what would happen as they hit the force field wall. In this case she said the words smashed, like glass and fell to the floor. we completed this step 3 more times, each time before she seen the words coming towards her, I reminded her of the power of the force field and the positive feelings she felt in the force field.
On the second and third time I completed this step, I got the client to make a "smashing" sound as the letters hit the force field.
The client said she felt really confident and positive in the force field and when we completed a future vision, to see how she would act/feel if someone in the future called her names, she said she didn't feel like the words effected her at all.
Do you have any success stories you would like to add to the blog? send them on an e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
Force Field
My client a teenager, was often bullied at school, being called a wide range of names and insults, this has effected her confidence as she became older and still hears the bullies name calling in her head.
I put my client in a positive state and then told her I had a magical invisible box, as soon as she opens this box a force field will jump out, as it did I asked her to describe it to me (often this is a force-field suit or tube) this time it was a tube shape that surround her body and lifted above her head.
I then asked the client to describe the force field, asking what colour it is, what sound it makes, etc. from this she stepped out of the force field leaving all positiveness in the force field and broke state. I told when she is in the force field, is she moves the force field will move with her.
I put put her in and out of the force field 3 times anchoring positive feelings into the force field.
I then asked the client to recall a time someone called her names and asked her again to step into the force field and feel the positive feelings, see and hear the hum of the force field. From this she said the name calling already felt less intense.
Instead of hearing the words, I asked her to visualise the words coming towards her, and asked her to describe it to me; she seen big black capital letters. we slowed the words down and told her that as they reach the force field something amazing will happen and they wont be able to enter the force field, I ask what would happen as they hit the force field wall. In this case she said the words smashed, like glass and fell to the floor. we completed this step 3 more times, each time before she seen the words coming towards her, I reminded her of the power of the force field and the positive feelings she felt in the force field.
On the second and third time I completed this step, I got the client to make a "smashing" sound as the letters hit the force field.
The client said she felt really confident and positive in the force field and when we completed a future vision, to see how she would act/feel if someone in the future called her names, she said she didn't feel like the words effected her at all.
Do you have any success stories you would like to add to the blog? send them on an e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
Saturday, 17 October 2009
The Little Book of Inspirational Teaching activities
David Hodgson, who brought you "The Buzz Book" has released a new book; The Little Book of Inspirational Teaching Activities.
With a collection of NLP-based activities developed to use with students to spice up lessons, learning and life in general. This a great book of activities to use as ice-breakers and to increase group motivation.
I have personally used a wide range of the techniques covered in this book and find them easy to follow and effective.
I have used them with a mixture of adults and youth's and always see a positive response
To have a preview into the book please click this link:
Click this link to view and order this book
With a collection of NLP-based activities developed to use with students to spice up lessons, learning and life in general. This a great book of activities to use as ice-breakers and to increase group motivation.
I have personally used a wide range of the techniques covered in this book and find them easy to follow and effective.
I have used them with a mixture of adults and youth's and always see a positive response
To have a preview into the book please click this link:
Click this link to view and order this book
The Next NLP Practice Group Session
Hi all
The next NLP Practice Group session will be held on Wednesday 11 November at 6:30, to secure your place please e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
So far we have already had request to practice Time lines, Meta Model and Perceptual Positions.
Do you have a technique you would like to practice? Send us an e-mail with your suggested techniques, we will practice the techniques with the most request.
We look forward to seeing you all at the next practice group session
Chris and Sandie
The next NLP Practice Group session will be held on Wednesday 11 November at 6:30, to secure your place please e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
So far we have already had request to practice Time lines, Meta Model and Perceptual Positions.
Do you have a technique you would like to practice? Send us an e-mail with your suggested techniques, we will practice the techniques with the most request.
We look forward to seeing you all at the next practice group session
Chris and Sandie
Fast Phobia Cure
During our last NLP Practice Group session we practiced the Fast Phobia Cure:
The fast phobia cure allows a client to process an unpleasant memory or a phobic response so that they change the order of the experience in their brain in such a way that it is eliminated and no more fear exists.
The fast phobia cure allows the client to re-experience a trauma or phobia without experiencing the emotional content of the event or having to face up to the trigger that would normally set off the phobic response.
You should ensure that you work in a comfortable, relaxed environment with no distractions, where the client will know themselves to be completely safe in the presence of the practitioner who can help them to be grounded and to overcome their phobia.
The client will examine an experience whilst they are doubly dissociated from the memory, creating a separation between them (in the now) and the emotions of a trauma or a phobic response in the past. In this particular exercise, the double dissociation is done through having the client watch themselves in a cinema (double dissociation).
Fast Phobia Cure:
1. Identify when you have a reoccurring phobic response or a traumatic or unpleasant memory that you wish to overcome.
2. Remember that you were safe before and are safe after the unpleasant experience.
3. Imagine yourself sitting in an empty cinema auditorium, sitting comfortably watching yourself on a small, black-and-white screen.
4. Now imagine floating out of the you that is sitting in the cinema seat and into the projection booth.
5. You can now see yourself in the projection booth, watching yourself in the seat, watching the film of you on the screen.
6. Run the film in black and white, on the very small compact screen, starting before you experience the memory you wish to overcome and running it through until after the experience when you were safe again.
7. Now freeze the film or turn the screen completely white.
8. Float out of the projection booth, out of the seat, and into the end of the film.
9. Run the film backwards very quickly, in a matter of a second or two, in full colour, as if you are experiencing the film, right back to the beginning, when you were safe.
10. You can now repeat steps 8 and 9 until you are comfortable with the experience.
11. Now go into the future and test an imaginary time when you might have experienced the phobic response.
The fast phobia cure allows a client to process an unpleasant memory or a phobic response so that they change the order of the experience in their brain in such a way that it is eliminated and no more fear exists.
The fast phobia cure allows the client to re-experience a trauma or phobia without experiencing the emotional content of the event or having to face up to the trigger that would normally set off the phobic response.
You should ensure that you work in a comfortable, relaxed environment with no distractions, where the client will know themselves to be completely safe in the presence of the practitioner who can help them to be grounded and to overcome their phobia.
The client will examine an experience whilst they are doubly dissociated from the memory, creating a separation between them (in the now) and the emotions of a trauma or a phobic response in the past. In this particular exercise, the double dissociation is done through having the client watch themselves in a cinema (double dissociation).
Fast Phobia Cure:
1. Identify when you have a reoccurring phobic response or a traumatic or unpleasant memory that you wish to overcome.
2. Remember that you were safe before and are safe after the unpleasant experience.
3. Imagine yourself sitting in an empty cinema auditorium, sitting comfortably watching yourself on a small, black-and-white screen.
4. Now imagine floating out of the you that is sitting in the cinema seat and into the projection booth.
5. You can now see yourself in the projection booth, watching yourself in the seat, watching the film of you on the screen.
6. Run the film in black and white, on the very small compact screen, starting before you experience the memory you wish to overcome and running it through until after the experience when you were safe again.
7. Now freeze the film or turn the screen completely white.
8. Float out of the projection booth, out of the seat, and into the end of the film.
9. Run the film backwards very quickly, in a matter of a second or two, in full colour, as if you are experiencing the film, right back to the beginning, when you were safe.
10. You can now repeat steps 8 and 9 until you are comfortable with the experience.
11. Now go into the future and test an imaginary time when you might have experienced the phobic response.
Thursday, 8 October 2009
The Miracle Question-Solution Focus
Like you, i am always interest in learning a wide verity of techniques to help others and myself move forward. I recently attended a course on Solution Focused Therapy and wanted to share one of their popular techniques The Miracle Question that i have successfully used with clients, with you.
Solution focused brief therapy (SFBT), often referred to as 'solution focused therapy' or 'brief therapy', focuses on what clients want to achieve rather than on the problems that made them to look for help. SFBT approach does not focus on the past, instead, focuses on the present and future.
The Miracle Question The miracle question is a method of questioning that a coach or therapist, uses to aid the client to envision how the future will be different when the problem is no longer present. Also, this may help to establish goals.
A traditional version of the miracle question would go like this:
"Suppose our meeting is over, you go home, do whatever you planned to do for the rest of the day. And then, some time in the evening, you get tired and go to sleep. And in the middle of the night, when you are fast asleep, a miracle happens and all the problems that brought you here today are solved just like that. But since the miracle happened over night nobody is telling you that the miracle happened. When you wake up the next morning, how are you going to start discovering that the miracle happened? ... Ask, what else are you going to notice? What else?"
Whilst you can easily follow the script, the miracle question requires considerable skill to ask well. The question must be asked slowly with close attention to the person's non-verbal communication to ensure that the pace matches the person's ability to follow the question.
Clients will often respond "I don't know." to the Miracle Question. Often if you leave a respectful silence to give the person time to fully absorb the question, clients will then give an answer or you can ask "if you did know..."
Often practitioners will follow this up with Scaling questions, this way the miracle question is not so much a question as a series of questions.
There are many different versions of the miracle question depending on the context and the client you can find lots of examples on the Internet
In a specific situation, the practitioner may ask,
"If you woke up tomorrow, and a miracle happened so that you no longer easily lost your temper, what would you see differently?" What would the first signs be that the miracle occurred?"
The client (a child) may respond by saying,
"I would not get upset when somebody calls me names."
The counselor wants the client to develop positive goals, or what they will do, rather than what they will not do--to better ensure success. So, the counselor may ask the client, "What will you be doing instead when someone calls you names?"
If you have had any success using this technique please leave a comment for others to share your good practice
Solution focused brief therapy (SFBT), often referred to as 'solution focused therapy' or 'brief therapy', focuses on what clients want to achieve rather than on the problems that made them to look for help. SFBT approach does not focus on the past, instead, focuses on the present and future.
The Miracle Question The miracle question is a method of questioning that a coach or therapist, uses to aid the client to envision how the future will be different when the problem is no longer present. Also, this may help to establish goals.
A traditional version of the miracle question would go like this:
"Suppose our meeting is over, you go home, do whatever you planned to do for the rest of the day. And then, some time in the evening, you get tired and go to sleep. And in the middle of the night, when you are fast asleep, a miracle happens and all the problems that brought you here today are solved just like that. But since the miracle happened over night nobody is telling you that the miracle happened. When you wake up the next morning, how are you going to start discovering that the miracle happened? ... Ask, what else are you going to notice? What else?"
Whilst you can easily follow the script, the miracle question requires considerable skill to ask well. The question must be asked slowly with close attention to the person's non-verbal communication to ensure that the pace matches the person's ability to follow the question.
Clients will often respond "I don't know." to the Miracle Question. Often if you leave a respectful silence to give the person time to fully absorb the question, clients will then give an answer or you can ask "if you did know..."
Often practitioners will follow this up with Scaling questions, this way the miracle question is not so much a question as a series of questions.
There are many different versions of the miracle question depending on the context and the client you can find lots of examples on the Internet
In a specific situation, the practitioner may ask,
"If you woke up tomorrow, and a miracle happened so that you no longer easily lost your temper, what would you see differently?" What would the first signs be that the miracle occurred?"
The client (a child) may respond by saying,
"I would not get upset when somebody calls me names."
The counselor wants the client to develop positive goals, or what they will do, rather than what they will not do--to better ensure success. So, the counselor may ask the client, "What will you be doing instead when someone calls you names?"
If you have had any success using this technique please leave a comment for others to share your good practice
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
Are you able to deliver work projects on time every time?
Hi, my name is Carrie, some of you may have met me at the last NLP practice group.
I am doing a modelling project on 'People who deliver work projects consistently on time' and I am looking for volunteers to help me with a project I am currently working on. I am looking for 3 Exemplars so I can model their behaviours, values, beliefs and identity to build a framework of how you can do this. I will then be able to create a model which will help people acquire the skill of being able to deliver projects consistently and on time.
If you believe you have the skill to deliver work prjoects consistently and on time and have 3 hours of your time to spare, please can you contact me at caroline.finn@yahoo.co.uk"
Many Thanks!
Carrie Finn
I am doing a modelling project on 'People who deliver work projects consistently on time' and I am looking for volunteers to help me with a project I am currently working on. I am looking for 3 Exemplars so I can model their behaviours, values, beliefs and identity to build a framework of how you can do this. I will then be able to create a model which will help people acquire the skill of being able to deliver projects consistently and on time.
If you believe you have the skill to deliver work prjoects consistently and on time and have 3 hours of your time to spare, please can you contact me at caroline.finn@yahoo.co.uk"
Many Thanks!
Carrie Finn
Saturday, 26 September 2009
NLP Practice Group Session
Hi all
The next NLP practice group session will be held on Wednesday 14th October at 6:30
For any further details and to confirm your place please e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
We look forward to seeing you all there
Thanks
Chris and Sandie
The next NLP practice group session will be held on Wednesday 14th October at 6:30
For any further details and to confirm your place please e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
We look forward to seeing you all there
Thanks
Chris and Sandie
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Recommended NLP Books
Recently I have been asked by several NLP practice group members which NLP books I would recommend;
To read how NLP can work and for good reading I recommend "Unlimited Power" This book is often quoted in other NLP and Life Coaching manuals and is a must read for all NLP Practitioners
Click the link to view the book
A good book for learning a wide range of NLP techniques I would recommend "NLP-The Technology of Achievement"
Click the link to view the book
Have you read either of these books? why not leave a review yourself on the comments below
To read how NLP can work and for good reading I recommend "Unlimited Power" This book is often quoted in other NLP and Life Coaching manuals and is a must read for all NLP Practitioners
Click the link to view the bookA good book for learning a wide range of NLP techniques I would recommend "NLP-The Technology of Achievement"
Click the link to view the book
Have you read either of these books? why not leave a review yourself on the comments below
Saturday, 19 September 2009
The Circle of Excellence
Hi all
We recently ran the very first Manchester NLP Practice Group with great success. Thanks to all who took part. We practiced the Circle of Excellence technique (which you can find below) We will be e-mailing all members in the next week to look for suggestions for the technique members would like to practice next month.
If you are not on the mailing list, please e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
The Circle of Excellence is a spatial anchor whereby an imaginary circle is drawn on the floor which is ‘stepped in-to’ to install new and additional resources relative to a situation where different behaviour or thinking is wished.
The C.O.E. can be used to summon up the confidence to perform a skill of task to the very best of your ability. You can use it if you have a fear of public speaking, before an interview or important meeting, to play your best shot in sport and in many other instances. You can also take something that you already do well and recreate it whenever you want, and improve it.
If you have ever had a resource, even if it was only for one second, that means that you have it forever. The C.O.E. allows you to summon useful resources, choosing how you want to feel and how you want to respond at any time, in any situation.
Practising the Circle of Excellence.
1. The Situation. First think of a situation when you would like to feel your best and most resourceful self. Draw an imaginary circle on the ground in front of you. Make it a generous circle of about three feet in diameter.
2. Relive Confidence. Stand up and let yourself go back in your memory to a time when you were very confident, abundantly confident. Get back to it strongly; see what you saw and hear what you heard. Notice what you are feeling and how good it feels reliving that moment...
3. In the Circle. As you feel the confidence building step into the C.O.E. What colour would you like the circle to be? Would you like it to have a sound like a soft hum that indicates how powerful it is? What is the sound like? How does it feel? Are you relaxed , excited, strong? How is your posture and breathing right now? Notice the position of your feet and hands, the tilt of your head. When the feeling of confidence is at its fullest , step out of the circle, leaving those positive confident feelings, colours and sounds inside the circle. Break state.
4. Repeat the exercise with a second experience if you want to add further resourceful states to the circle or if the circle doesn’t feel strong enough. Repeat as many times as necessary. The circle is limitless and you can keep adding more confidence and power resources to the circle over time.
5. Selecting Cues. Now think of a specific time in the future when you want to have that same feeling of super confidence. See and hear what will be happening just before you want to feel confident. How will the scene unfold? What is the cue to knowing that it is nearly time to step into the C.E.O.? It could be the opening of an office door or stepping onto a stage or being introduced to an audience...
6. Step into the Circle of Excellence! Feel the confidence there for you again, the colour the sounds, the confident breathing and posture. Imagine the scene unfolding exactly the way to want it too with all your confident feelings and resources fully available for you.
7. Check Results. Now step out of the circle again, leaving those confident feelings there in the circle. Outside the circle, take a moment and think again of that upcoming event or situation. You’ll find you’ll automatically recall those confident feelings. This means that you’ve already reprogrammed yourself for that upcoming situation and you are already feeling better resourced for it. When the time comes you will naturally feel more confident and if you want to add more power to those positive feeling, your circle of excellence is only ever one footstep away.
We look forward to seeing you all at the next practice group
Chris and Sandie
We recently ran the very first Manchester NLP Practice Group with great success. Thanks to all who took part. We practiced the Circle of Excellence technique (which you can find below) We will be e-mailing all members in the next week to look for suggestions for the technique members would like to practice next month.
If you are not on the mailing list, please e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
The Circle of Excellence is a spatial anchor whereby an imaginary circle is drawn on the floor which is ‘stepped in-to’ to install new and additional resources relative to a situation where different behaviour or thinking is wished.
The C.O.E. can be used to summon up the confidence to perform a skill of task to the very best of your ability. You can use it if you have a fear of public speaking, before an interview or important meeting, to play your best shot in sport and in many other instances. You can also take something that you already do well and recreate it whenever you want, and improve it.
If you have ever had a resource, even if it was only for one second, that means that you have it forever. The C.O.E. allows you to summon useful resources, choosing how you want to feel and how you want to respond at any time, in any situation.
Practising the Circle of Excellence.
1. The Situation. First think of a situation when you would like to feel your best and most resourceful self. Draw an imaginary circle on the ground in front of you. Make it a generous circle of about three feet in diameter.
2. Relive Confidence. Stand up and let yourself go back in your memory to a time when you were very confident, abundantly confident. Get back to it strongly; see what you saw and hear what you heard. Notice what you are feeling and how good it feels reliving that moment...
3. In the Circle. As you feel the confidence building step into the C.O.E. What colour would you like the circle to be? Would you like it to have a sound like a soft hum that indicates how powerful it is? What is the sound like? How does it feel? Are you relaxed , excited, strong? How is your posture and breathing right now? Notice the position of your feet and hands, the tilt of your head. When the feeling of confidence is at its fullest , step out of the circle, leaving those positive confident feelings, colours and sounds inside the circle. Break state.
4. Repeat the exercise with a second experience if you want to add further resourceful states to the circle or if the circle doesn’t feel strong enough. Repeat as many times as necessary. The circle is limitless and you can keep adding more confidence and power resources to the circle over time.
5. Selecting Cues. Now think of a specific time in the future when you want to have that same feeling of super confidence. See and hear what will be happening just before you want to feel confident. How will the scene unfold? What is the cue to knowing that it is nearly time to step into the C.E.O.? It could be the opening of an office door or stepping onto a stage or being introduced to an audience...
6. Step into the Circle of Excellence! Feel the confidence there for you again, the colour the sounds, the confident breathing and posture. Imagine the scene unfolding exactly the way to want it too with all your confident feelings and resources fully available for you.
7. Check Results. Now step out of the circle again, leaving those confident feelings there in the circle. Outside the circle, take a moment and think again of that upcoming event or situation. You’ll find you’ll automatically recall those confident feelings. This means that you’ve already reprogrammed yourself for that upcoming situation and you are already feeling better resourced for it. When the time comes you will naturally feel more confident and if you want to add more power to those positive feeling, your circle of excellence is only ever one footstep away.
We look forward to seeing you all at the next practice group
Chris and Sandie
Thursday, 27 August 2009
Glossary of NLP Terms
I have put together a Glossary of NLP terms, this is not a complete list but a selection of some of the most common used terms. If you would like me to add any new terms, please leave a comment.
Accessing Cues: Subtle behaviour that indicates which representational system a person is using to think with.
Accessing cues include; Eye movements, body posture and breathing patterns.
Anchoring: Associating an internal response with an external trigger
Auditory: Sense of hearing.
Beliefs: Closely held generalisations about the world around us.
Calibration: The process of learning to read the unconscious, non-verbal responses of others.
Chunking: Moving from a larger to a smaller focus on a particular issue or visa versa.
Congruence: Rapport with yourself; When all of a persons behaviour, internal beliefs and strategies are fully in agreement with a desired outcome.
Future Pacing: Mentally rehearsing an event before it happens.
Gustatory: Sense of taste.
Kinaesthetic: Relating to body sensations (Feelings)
Meta Model: Detect and challenging deletions, distortions and generalisations .
Meta Programs: A process sorting through multiple generalisations.
Metaphor: Using stories subconsciously describe your state.
Modelling: Observing and replicating the successful actions and behaviours of others.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming: The study of excellence.
Olfactory: Sense of smell.
Outcomes: Goals or desired states that a person would like to achieve.
Rapport: A sense of connection with another.
State: An ongoing mental and physical condition from which a person is acting.
Strategy: unconscious or conscious process of planning a course of action to achieve an outcome or state.
Sub-Modalities: The distinctions we make within each rep system, the qualities of our internal representations.
Time-line: A metaphor for how we store our sights, sounds and sensations of memories and imagination; a way of coding and processing the construct "time."
T.O.T.E: Test-Operate-Test-Exit, which describes the basic feedback loop used to guide all behaviour.
Trance: In NLP is any altered state. In hypnosis it is usually characterised by inward, one-pointed focus.
Unconscious: Everything out of conscious awareness.
Visual: Sense of sight.
Accessing Cues: Subtle behaviour that indicates which representational system a person is using to think with.
Accessing cues include; Eye movements, body posture and breathing patterns.
Anchoring: Associating an internal response with an external trigger
Auditory: Sense of hearing.
Beliefs: Closely held generalisations about the world around us.
Calibration: The process of learning to read the unconscious, non-verbal responses of others.
Chunking: Moving from a larger to a smaller focus on a particular issue or visa versa.
Congruence: Rapport with yourself; When all of a persons behaviour, internal beliefs and strategies are fully in agreement with a desired outcome.
Future Pacing: Mentally rehearsing an event before it happens.
Gustatory: Sense of taste.
Kinaesthetic: Relating to body sensations (Feelings)
Meta Model: Detect and challenging deletions, distortions and generalisations .
Meta Programs: A process sorting through multiple generalisations.
Metaphor: Using stories subconsciously describe your state.
Modelling: Observing and replicating the successful actions and behaviours of others.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming: The study of excellence.
Olfactory: Sense of smell.
Outcomes: Goals or desired states that a person would like to achieve.
Rapport: A sense of connection with another.
State: An ongoing mental and physical condition from which a person is acting.
Strategy: unconscious or conscious process of planning a course of action to achieve an outcome or state.
Sub-Modalities: The distinctions we make within each rep system, the qualities of our internal representations.
Time-line: A metaphor for how we store our sights, sounds and sensations of memories and imagination; a way of coding and processing the construct "time."
T.O.T.E: Test-Operate-Test-Exit, which describes the basic feedback loop used to guide all behaviour.
Trance: In NLP is any altered state. In hypnosis it is usually characterised by inward, one-pointed focus.
Unconscious: Everything out of conscious awareness.
Visual: Sense of sight.
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Are you able to deliver work projects on time?
Hi, my name is Carrie, some of you may have met me at the last NLP practice group.
I am doing a modelling project on 'People who deliver work projects consistently on time' and I am looking for volunteers to help me with a project I am currently working on. I am looking for 3 Exemplars so I can model their behaviours, values, beliefs and identity to build a framework of how you can do this. I will then be able to create a model which will help people acquire the skill of being able to deliver projects consistently and on time.
If you believe you have the skill to deliver work prjoects consistently and on time and have 3 hours of your time to spare, please can you contact me at caroline.finn@yahoo.co.uk"
If you believe you have the skill to deliver work prjoects consistently and on time and have 3 hours of your time to spare, please can you contact me at caroline.finn@yahoo.co.uk"
Many Thanks!
Carrie Finn
Are you able to deliver work projects on time every time?
Hi, my name is Carrie, some of you may have met me at the last NLP practice group.
I am doing a modelling project on 'People who deliver work projects consistently on time' and I am looking for volunteers to help me with a project I am currently working on. I am looking for 3 Exemplars so I can model their behaviours, values, beliefs and identity to build a framework of how you can do this. I will then be able to create a model which will help people acquire the skill of being able to deliver projects consistently and on time.
If you believe you have the skill to deliver work prjoects consistently and on time and have 3 hours of your time to spare, please can you contact me at caroline.finn@yahoo.co.uk"
Many Thanks!
Carrie Fisher
Saturday, 22 August 2009
The Applications of NLP
How NLP can be applied in a variety of areas in your life.
Personal Development; NLP will give you a range of tools to help you understand yourself in more depth and to have an increased awareness of others. You will learn to manage your emotions, taking control rather then being a victim of them. You will find out what you want and make well formed outcomes- achieving your goals. Importantly you will understand your values and beliefs and start living a life aligned with them.
Health and Well-being; Our thoughts have an effect on our body and vice versa. Many people find that going swimming, jogging or using the gym after work can help reduce stress. Research is showing that you can help feel your body by thinking positively. Have you ever given a child who has bumped their head a Smartie telling them its a magic tablet that can heal there wound? The child often feels better within seconds. NLP has many tools and techniques to help both physically and mentally.
Relationships; How well do you create rapport with strangers, colleagues and family members? How good is your relationship with friends, family and loved ones? Knowing how to match other's representational systems and mirror body language helps deepen rapport and people are always attracted to others who seem familiar. In personal relationships NLP helps you concentrate on similarities rather then differences. NLP will help you improve the quality of your relationships with others.
Business; Communication is a big part of all businesses. NLP can help you become an effective communicator and teaches you how to improve your confidence in a one to one context, in groups and whilst delivering presentations. NLP helps us step back and look at the world from other peoples "maps" of the world without feeling any attached emotions. NLP Perceptual Positions will equip you to change relationships and the Meta Model is ideal to help you understand any issue; helping you to gain the meaning of what people say through active listening and questioning.
NLP can also help in all other areas of your life; Giving Presentations, Sport and Fitness, Coaching, Therapy, Selling, Negotiation, Leadership, education and training
Personal Development; NLP will give you a range of tools to help you understand yourself in more depth and to have an increased awareness of others. You will learn to manage your emotions, taking control rather then being a victim of them. You will find out what you want and make well formed outcomes- achieving your goals. Importantly you will understand your values and beliefs and start living a life aligned with them.
Health and Well-being; Our thoughts have an effect on our body and vice versa. Many people find that going swimming, jogging or using the gym after work can help reduce stress. Research is showing that you can help feel your body by thinking positively. Have you ever given a child who has bumped their head a Smartie telling them its a magic tablet that can heal there wound? The child often feels better within seconds. NLP has many tools and techniques to help both physically and mentally.
Relationships; How well do you create rapport with strangers, colleagues and family members? How good is your relationship with friends, family and loved ones? Knowing how to match other's representational systems and mirror body language helps deepen rapport and people are always attracted to others who seem familiar. In personal relationships NLP helps you concentrate on similarities rather then differences. NLP will help you improve the quality of your relationships with others.
Business; Communication is a big part of all businesses. NLP can help you become an effective communicator and teaches you how to improve your confidence in a one to one context, in groups and whilst delivering presentations. NLP helps us step back and look at the world from other peoples "maps" of the world without feeling any attached emotions. NLP Perceptual Positions will equip you to change relationships and the Meta Model is ideal to help you understand any issue; helping you to gain the meaning of what people say through active listening and questioning.
NLP can also help in all other areas of your life; Giving Presentations, Sport and Fitness, Coaching, Therapy, Selling, Negotiation, Leadership, education and training
Personality type test for youths
Hi all,
I currently work helping teenagers into employment and training. I find the personality type test a useful tool to help motivate both young people and adults. I often used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator when I coach adults and recenlty I have been using a new version of the Personality Type test designed for teenagers named "The Buzz" when working with youths
I have added a link below to the Buzz website below for your use, why dont have a go and feedback your comments on this blog
http://www.thebuzzbook.co.uk/
As well as the Personality Type test you can find other interactive techniques to use to help motivate young people
You can also buy the Buzz Book with a more indepth look a personality types and NLP Techniques
'>http://
I hope you find this useful
Chris Delaney
I currently work helping teenagers into employment and training. I find the personality type test a useful tool to help motivate both young people and adults. I often used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator when I coach adults and recenlty I have been using a new version of the Personality Type test designed for teenagers named "The Buzz" when working with youths
I have added a link below to the Buzz website below for your use, why dont have a go and feedback your comments on this blog
http://www.thebuzzbook.co.uk/
As well as the Personality Type test you can find other interactive techniques to use to help motivate young people
You can also buy the Buzz Book with a more indepth look a personality types and NLP Techniques
'>http://
I hope you find this useful
Chris Delaney
Friday, 21 August 2009
NLP Conference
NLP Conference 13-15 November
The NLP conference is an international recognised event bringing together many top Master Practitioners and globally renowned speakers
Tickets available for a day or for the whole weekend for more information click on the link below:
http://www.nlpconference.co.uk/
The NLP conference is an international recognised event bringing together many top Master Practitioners and globally renowned speakers
Tickets available for a day or for the whole weekend for more information click on the link below:
http://www.nlpconference.co.uk/
Monday, 10 August 2009
Buy NLP Books
To Buy any of the books below just click on the link-this will take you straight to the buyers page
why not add your book review and help other NLP practitioners decide which book they should buy
why not add your book review and help other NLP practitioners decide which book they should buy
Saturday, 8 August 2009
Friday, 7 August 2009
NLP Practice group date's
We meet on the third Wednesday of every month at
Heaton Chapel Scout Hut
The Lodge, Carnford Road
Heaton Chapel, Stockport
First Meeting on Wednesday 16nd September, 6:30 start
Only £5 per person (limited places)
To book a place e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
Heaton Chapel Scout Hut
The Lodge, Carnford Road
Heaton Chapel, Stockport
First Meeting on Wednesday 16nd September, 6:30 start
Only £5 per person (limited places)
To book a place e-mail nlppracticegroup@gmail.com
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