Tuesday 24 November 2009

Rapport

Several NLP Practice Group members are using the techniques we have been learning/practicing to help other people move forward.
One of the most important aspects when working with others is to gain Rapport.

What is Rapport?

Rapport is a Relationship, one of mutual trust or emotional affinity that exists between people when they are at ease with one another and where communication is occurring easily.

Why use this?

People like people who are like themselves; In general, we gravitate towards people that we consider similar to us. When you gain Rapport, common ground and similarities are emphasised and the differences are minimised.

Rapport is an essential for successful communication - if there is no rapport when there is no communication!

We all experience Rapport.

We naturally all experience rapport, this is common with close friends, family and with others whom we share common interest with. The skill is for you to be able to create rapport with anybody, in any setting.

Gaining Rapport.

Copy body language
Match Breathing patterns
Match the tone and speed of your client’s voice
Copy eye contact patterns; use their language preference (VAK)
* This needs to be subtle.
(This is sometimes called 'pacing’)

Once you have gained Rapport you can then 'Lead' your client by making small non-matching changes in your own behaviour. If they follow (typically 30-60 seconds later) with a similar shift then you have rapport. If not go back to the above to re-gain Rapport.

Use Interest to gain Rapport.

One of the most effective ways to create rapport by having a genuine interest in the other person’s model of the world, experiencing the world exactly as they do.

Developing Rapport building skills.

  1. To improve your ability to create rapport you need to have excellent sensory acuity and calibration skills.

  2. Spend time practising just one form of matching until you can use this easily. For most this will become an unconscious skill.

  3. Once you have learnt one form, practice a second, then a third and so on.

That's all there is to it - observation and practice.

Remember to be subtle, if the Rapport process intrudes the other person’s conscious awareness, they will not respond well to you.

With practice you will be able to easily create rapport with total strangers in just a few minutes, whether or not you like them, and whether or not you have any areas of common interest.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your readers might also be interested in this article: What 'Classic' NLP Doesn't Tell You About Rapport