Perceptual Positions Summary Sheet.
Think about a relationship that you would like to improve. This could be with a colleague, friend, manager or loved one.
Think about a recent event with this person, a small conflict or difficult situation in which you had a disagreement or an unpleasant or difficult conversation.
1. Consider the conversation from your own perspective
Return to this experience in your mind and run mental movie of this situation as it occurred. Re-experience this situation as fully as possible from your own eyes. What can you see? Notice the person you are talking to, hear what they said to you. See the expression on their face, notice their body language. Become aware of how you feel. Speak to the person (out loud or in your head) and use the same language as you originally did. At the end of this episode, rewind the movie and pause the movie at the beginning of this conflict situation.
BREAK STATE
2. Second Position
Now that your movie is ‘paused’ at the beginning, look over at the other person. Notice how the person is breathing, notice their posture, facial expressions, the way they move. Now consider what their tone of voice is like, do they speak fast or slow, loud or quiet? How to they walk, talk, sit, laugh and relax? What are some of the things you know about this persons; what are their likes and dislikes?
Now imagine floating out of your own body and into the body of the other person. Imagine you are inside this person’s skin. Become aware of how this person experiences life. Take on their posture, gestures and their tone of voice.
Set aside your own beliefs and values and replay the situation from the other persons viewpoint. Pay attention to the thoughts of the other person and to any insights that surface as you observe the other person (you) in front of you.
Use the second persons language to describe what you experience (refer to yourself as you) what have you learnt from this viewpoint, what else can you learn from this persons experience.
After the scene ends float back into your own body taking with you this new learning and insights.
BREAK STATE
3. Third Position
Return to the event and from your own point of view, before you play out the scene, float out of your body and move to a detached place, where you can observe both you and the other person. Once again re-play the event as if you were watching and listening to a film or live show. Be curious about what unfolds before you and notice the learning you gain from this third perspective. Listen to the conversation and notice the body language of both you and the second person.
After the scene ends, float back into your body bringing with you all the insights and learning from the three perceptual positions. Pay attention to the difference in your experience. Take all the time you need to fully return to yourself before opening your eyes.
Repeat this as many times as you feel is necessary and always end in the first position.
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1 comment:
I think this is a great exercise. I've always believed that there is something more to just thinking outside of yourself. This offers a completely different view, a radical change in the way you experience a situation and incredible insights! Great stuff. I am firm on NLP, I think in 200 years, we'll all be doing it, but it will be more like a way of life.
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