Do you have a limiting belief that holds you back?
Our beliefs are at the core of who we are. Beliefs guide our decisions and behaviour in all areas of life. Unfortunately, some of our beliefs can be negative and can limit our choices in life. Some of our limiting beliefs may be based on what someone else has told us, and sometimes our beliefs were formed at an early age, which you have long since outgrown, but still blindly carry with us without question – what’s more, they can become self fulfilling prophecies whereby we go out of our way to prove our limiting beliefs to be right!
The Limiting Belief Destroyer Technique will help you destroy your limiting belief by changing the ‘submodalities’ of the limiting belief.
When practicing this technique use a small limiting belief first, then once you have mastered the technique and understand all the steps, you can then use the technique to destroy bigger limiting beliefs.
EXERCISE ONE – Exploring and Understanding Submodalities in order to Change Limiting Beliefs
Step 1:
Think of something you believe to be true, this can be a small thing like ‘I believe I can drive my car” or “I believe I am a loving father or mother”
When thinking of this belief, notice where the visualisation you instantly create is located – notice where in space that image is positioned. Is the image on the left or right side of your mind?
How near or far away is the image? What auditory sounds can you hear when you think of this belief? Do you say anything to yourself? What other sounds can you hear?
Be aware of what makes this belief real.
BREAK STATE
Step 2:
Now think of something that you are not sure is true or false - something you’re not really concerned about either way. For example “I believe my maths ability is better than your maths ability”
When thinking of this ‘unsure’ belief, notice where the visualisation you create is – Notice where in space that image is positioned, is the image on the left or right side of your mind?
How near or far away is the image? What auditory sounds can you hear when you think of this belief? Do you say anything to yourself? What other sounds can you hear?
Step 3: Testing!
Now you have the submodalities for both a strong and a weak belief. Take your strong belief and change the submodalities to that of the weak belief; if the weak belief image is far away push the strong belief image far away, etc. Once you have changed all the VAK submodalities, ask yourself “How do I feel about it now?”
If your strong belief is positive, return the original submodalities to the belief, as this exercise is just an example of how your beliefs are powered by their submodalities.
Take the weak belief and change it to the submodalities of the strong belief, how do you feel about this belief now?
EXERCISE Two – Change Personal History
Empowering Memory: Think about an empowering and positive memory that has an effect on your behaviour even today. This experience has taught you something about yourself - convinced you of a quality or talent you possess. These experiences often happen to us while we are at school, although they can also happened at any time during our lives. Bring the memory fully to your mind and relive the experience as if it is happening to you now.
Ordinary Memory: Think of an ordinary memory, a task you complete everyday that you don’t really think about or care about, for example taking your bin out or logging off your computer at work.
Checking the Submodalities: compare both memories, checking the ‘submodalities’ of both memories. Which memory is bigger, nearer or further away? Is one memory bright and the other dull? List all of the submodalities, both visual, auditory and kinsthetic.
Search for a “negative” imprinted experience: Think about a negative experience that has been imprinted into your mind. Think about the belief that resulted from it, that now effects your life in a way you don’t appreciate.
You can do this in 3 ways:
1. Think of an unpleasant experience that stands out strongly or was an unpleasant experience that was a turning point in your life.
2. Think of a generalisation or attitude you posses which get in your way! Use the associated feelings to search back through time to find the ‘imprint’ experience that formed it.
3. Think of a repetitive unpleasant feeling you have and use that feeling to search back through time to find the ‘imprint’ experience and the resulting conclusion.
Search for a positive imprinted experience: What positive imprint experience have you had recently that if you had the same experience before the negative experience, would have automatically allowed you to respond more resourcefully and interpreted the situation in a different and more positive way?
Look at the image of this positive imprinted memory and add it, in your minds eye, to the submodalities of the empowering memory.
Time Travel: In your mind, keeping your positive mental attitude, imagine floating up out of your body and above your timeline, travel back through time to a point before your negative imprinted experience, keeping your positive mental attitude.
Remain associated as you travel rapidly forward in time; see, hear and feel as the past events are re-evaluated and transformed by your positive mental attitude.
Do this fairly quickly allowing your unconscious mind to shift what happens, colouring your past with the new imprint.
Experience how past events including the negative experience imprint are instantly changed by your new positive mental attitude.
Repeat the process until the new belief and empowering submodalities stick.
Monday, 9 August 2010
Monday, 26 July 2010
NLP Conference 12-14th Novemeber
NLP Conference 12-14th Novemeber
The NLP Conference is a great event for NLP-ers; for information on the Sessions, Guest Speakers and booking follow the link.
The NLP Conference is a great event for NLP-ers; for information on the Sessions, Guest Speakers and booking follow the link.
Saturday, 3 July 2010
The next group is on Wednesday 14th July - Perceptual Positions
Perceptual Positions Summary Sheet.
Think about a relationship that you would like to improve. This could be with a colleague, friend, manager or loved one.
Think about a recent event with this person, a small conflict or difficult situation in which you had a disagreement or an unpleasant or difficult conversation.
1. Consider the conversation from your own perspective
Return to this experience in your mind and run mental movie of this situation as it occurred. Re-experience this situation as fully as possible from your own eyes. What can you see? Notice the person you are talking to, hear what they said to you. See the expression on their face, notice their body language. Become aware of how you feel. Speak to the person (out loud or in your head) and use the same language as you originally did. At the end of this episode, rewind the movie and pause the movie at the beginning of this conflict situation.
BREAK STATE
2. Second Position
Now that your movie is ‘paused’ at the beginning, look over at the other person. Notice how the person is breathing, notice their posture, facial expressions, the way they move. Now consider what their tone of voice is like, do they speak fast or slow, loud or quiet? How to they walk, talk, sit, laugh and relax? What are some of the things you know about this persons; what are their likes and dislikes?
Now imagine floating out of your own body and into the body of the other person. Imagine you are inside this person’s skin. Become aware of how this person experiences life. Take on their posture, gestures and their tone of voice.
Set aside your own beliefs and values and replay the situation from the other persons viewpoint. Pay attention to the thoughts of the other person and to any insights that surface as you observe the other person (you) in front of you.
Use the second persons language to describe what you experience (refer to yourself as you) what have you learnt from this viewpoint, what else can you learn from this persons experience.
After the scene ends float back into your own body taking with you this new learning and insights.
BREAK STATE
3. Third Position
Return to the event and from your own point of view, before you play out the scene, float out of your body and move to a detached place, where you can observe both you and the other person. Once again re-play the event as if you were watching and listening to a film or live show. Be curious about what unfolds before you and notice the learning you gain from this third perspective. Listen to the conversation and notice the body language of both you and the second person.
After the scene ends, float back into your body bringing with you all the insights and learning from the three perceptual positions. Pay attention to the difference in your experience. Take all the time you need to fully return to yourself before opening your eyes.
Repeat this as many times as you feel is necessary and always end in the first position.
Think about a relationship that you would like to improve. This could be with a colleague, friend, manager or loved one.
Think about a recent event with this person, a small conflict or difficult situation in which you had a disagreement or an unpleasant or difficult conversation.
1. Consider the conversation from your own perspective
Return to this experience in your mind and run mental movie of this situation as it occurred. Re-experience this situation as fully as possible from your own eyes. What can you see? Notice the person you are talking to, hear what they said to you. See the expression on their face, notice their body language. Become aware of how you feel. Speak to the person (out loud or in your head) and use the same language as you originally did. At the end of this episode, rewind the movie and pause the movie at the beginning of this conflict situation.
BREAK STATE
2. Second Position
Now that your movie is ‘paused’ at the beginning, look over at the other person. Notice how the person is breathing, notice their posture, facial expressions, the way they move. Now consider what their tone of voice is like, do they speak fast or slow, loud or quiet? How to they walk, talk, sit, laugh and relax? What are some of the things you know about this persons; what are their likes and dislikes?
Now imagine floating out of your own body and into the body of the other person. Imagine you are inside this person’s skin. Become aware of how this person experiences life. Take on their posture, gestures and their tone of voice.
Set aside your own beliefs and values and replay the situation from the other persons viewpoint. Pay attention to the thoughts of the other person and to any insights that surface as you observe the other person (you) in front of you.
Use the second persons language to describe what you experience (refer to yourself as you) what have you learnt from this viewpoint, what else can you learn from this persons experience.
After the scene ends float back into your own body taking with you this new learning and insights.
BREAK STATE
3. Third Position
Return to the event and from your own point of view, before you play out the scene, float out of your body and move to a detached place, where you can observe both you and the other person. Once again re-play the event as if you were watching and listening to a film or live show. Be curious about what unfolds before you and notice the learning you gain from this third perspective. Listen to the conversation and notice the body language of both you and the second person.
After the scene ends, float back into your body bringing with you all the insights and learning from the three perceptual positions. Pay attention to the difference in your experience. Take all the time you need to fully return to yourself before opening your eyes.
Repeat this as many times as you feel is necessary and always end in the first position.
Sunday, 6 June 2010
This Wednesday (9th June) we will be practicing LAB Profiling.
LAB Profiling
Taken from NLP’s Meta Model, ‘Language and Behaviour profiling’ or LAB profiling for short, is a series of questions designed to elicit peoples motivational patterns and behaviours from the language they use. Once you know a series of simple questions, you can then put them into casual conversation. The secret to LAB profiling is listening to HOW people answer the questions as much as WHAT they talk about. Once you know the words that can influence and motivate a person you can use these in your NLP/Coaching session with them to encourage them to achieve their goals.
The following example questions are designed for clients discussing their career and can be changed for different goals.
Motivational Traits: How to trigger motivation and the language to use to capture people’s interest.
Proactive/Reactive - no question for this level
Proactive Action, Do-It, Why Wait? - Short Crisp sentences
Reactive Try, Think About It, Could Wait, Should do
Q1. Criteria – “What do you want to more of in your Job?”
If given more the one criteria ask which criteria they find most important – you can use the parts integrated exercise to help with this.
Q2. Direction – “why is that Criteria Important” ask 3 times
Towards Attain, Gain, Achieve, Get, include, Goal
Away Avoid, Exclude, Recognise Problems, away from
Q3. Source – “How do you know when you will have done a good job?”
Internal Knows within self, I feel it, I just know
External Told by others, Can see it on people’s faces, Facts and figures to prove it
Q4. Reason - “Why did you choose (your current role)”
Options Criteria, choice, possibilities, variety
Procedures Story, how, necessary, didn’t choose
Q5. Decision Factors – “what is the relationship between this job and your last job”
Sameness Sameness, No change
Sameness with exception More, better, comparisons
Difference Change, new, unique
Sameness with exception and difference new and comparisons
Working Traits: How people deal with information and how to maintain motivation.
Scope – no questions for this level
Specific details, sequences, exactly
General overview, big picture, random order
Attention Direction – no questions for this level
Self short monotone responses – no emotions
Other animated, expressive, automatic responsive, respond to body language
Q1. Stress Responsive – “tell me about a work situation that gave you trouble”
Feeling goes in and stays in feelings
Choice goes in and out of feelings
Thinking doesn’t go in feelings
Q2. Style – “tell me about a work situation that was criteria”
“What did you like about it?”
Independent I, alone, sole responsibility
Proximity In control, others around, in charge
Co-operative we, team, share responsibility
Organisation – use answers from above question
Person people, feelings, reactions, people’s names, will feel good
Things tools, task, ideas, objects, goal, get the job done
Q3. Rule structure – “what is a good way to increase your success at work?” and “what is a good way for someone else to increase their success at work”
My/my my rules for me/my rules for you – what you would do if you were him…
My/. My rules for me/who cares - you’re sure about this and it doesn’t matter for others
No/My no rules for me/my rules for you – now that you have been informed about what’s expected, you can pass that along
My/Your my rules for me/your rules for you – you know what to do and you want to leave it to others to decide for themselves
Q4a. Convincer – “how do you know when someone else is good at their work?”
See look, show, perspective, image, clear, light up
Hear talk, listen, wonder, say, question
Read read reports, needed it on paper
Do touch, feel, grasp, solid, sensitive, test it out
Q4b. “How many times do you have to (see, hear, read, do) that to be convinced they are good?
Number of examples use the number they give you
Automatic you can assume, benefit of the doubt, decide fast, right now
Consistent try it, each time, every time
Period of time match period of time
Taken from NLP’s Meta Model, ‘Language and Behaviour profiling’ or LAB profiling for short, is a series of questions designed to elicit peoples motivational patterns and behaviours from the language they use. Once you know a series of simple questions, you can then put them into casual conversation. The secret to LAB profiling is listening to HOW people answer the questions as much as WHAT they talk about. Once you know the words that can influence and motivate a person you can use these in your NLP/Coaching session with them to encourage them to achieve their goals.
The following example questions are designed for clients discussing their career and can be changed for different goals.
Motivational Traits: How to trigger motivation and the language to use to capture people’s interest.
Proactive/Reactive - no question for this level
Proactive Action, Do-It, Why Wait? - Short Crisp sentences
Reactive Try, Think About It, Could Wait, Should do
Q1. Criteria – “What do you want to more of in your Job?”
If given more the one criteria ask which criteria they find most important – you can use the parts integrated exercise to help with this.
Q2. Direction – “why is that Criteria Important” ask 3 times
Towards Attain, Gain, Achieve, Get, include, Goal
Away Avoid, Exclude, Recognise Problems, away from
Q3. Source – “How do you know when you will have done a good job?”
Internal Knows within self, I feel it, I just know
External Told by others, Can see it on people’s faces, Facts and figures to prove it
Q4. Reason - “Why did you choose (your current role)”
Options Criteria, choice, possibilities, variety
Procedures Story, how, necessary, didn’t choose
Q5. Decision Factors – “what is the relationship between this job and your last job”
Sameness Sameness, No change
Sameness with exception More, better, comparisons
Difference Change, new, unique
Sameness with exception and difference new and comparisons
Working Traits: How people deal with information and how to maintain motivation.
Scope – no questions for this level
Specific details, sequences, exactly
General overview, big picture, random order
Attention Direction – no questions for this level
Self short monotone responses – no emotions
Other animated, expressive, automatic responsive, respond to body language
Q1. Stress Responsive – “tell me about a work situation that gave you trouble”
Feeling goes in and stays in feelings
Choice goes in and out of feelings
Thinking doesn’t go in feelings
Q2. Style – “tell me about a work situation that was criteria”
“What did you like about it?”
Independent I, alone, sole responsibility
Proximity In control, others around, in charge
Co-operative we, team, share responsibility
Organisation – use answers from above question
Person people, feelings, reactions, people’s names, will feel good
Things tools, task, ideas, objects, goal, get the job done
Q3. Rule structure – “what is a good way to increase your success at work?” and “what is a good way for someone else to increase their success at work”
My/my my rules for me/my rules for you – what you would do if you were him…
My/. My rules for me/who cares - you’re sure about this and it doesn’t matter for others
No/My no rules for me/my rules for you – now that you have been informed about what’s expected, you can pass that along
My/Your my rules for me/your rules for you – you know what to do and you want to leave it to others to decide for themselves
Q4a. Convincer – “how do you know when someone else is good at their work?”
See look, show, perspective, image, clear, light up
Hear talk, listen, wonder, say, question
Read read reports, needed it on paper
Do touch, feel, grasp, solid, sensitive, test it out
Q4b. “How many times do you have to (see, hear, read, do) that to be convinced they are good?
Number of examples use the number they give you
Automatic you can assume, benefit of the doubt, decide fast, right now
Consistent try it, each time, every time
Period of time match period of time
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
We've joined Facebook
Dear all,
We've joined facebook - Come and join us there!
Look us up 'Manchester NLP Practice Group'
or follow the link..
Facebook
Sandie
We've joined facebook - Come and join us there!
Look us up 'Manchester NLP Practice Group'
or follow the link..
Sandie
Sunday, 9 May 2010
Working with Metaphors
At the next practice session on Wednesday 12th May we will be talking about Metaphors and exploring how metaphors in everyday language can hold the 'key' to deciphering our own and our clients unconscious wisdom.
Using metaphors with ourselves or with a client can offer incredible insight into our unique perception of a certain situation, event or challenge. Talking via metaphors gives an individual the opportunity to see a situation from a new perspective in order to explore, in the comfort of their imagination, what needs to happen in order to move forward.
To get you thinking in terms of 'metaphors' have a practice with this simple warm up exercise:-
Finish each phrase with whatever sentence comes immediately to mind.
She woke up this morning feeling like …………………..
He knocked back the drink as if ………………..
The music made her feel ……………….
Nothing was the same, now that it was …………………
The smell of cut grass reminded her ………………..
The number 4 struck him as significant because …………………
The car came round the corner and towards her gate like ………….
He wanted to keep running but ……………
If she could just make it to the finish line she would feel like …………….
I hope that this exercise has stimulated your VAGOK systems and got your creative juices flowing.
Now think of a time recently when you were facing a particular challenge or problem. Can you remember how you felt at the time? Can you think of it in terms of a metaphorical analogy? For example; ' I felt like I was going round and round in circles, like I was on a carousel that would never stop. I was starting to feel sick but I had no idea whether it was safe to jump off, so I stayed on, going round and round in circles.'
This simple example can give us tremendous insight into how a particular problem 'feels' to the person experienceing the problem.
No consider how you would prefer to feel about this same problem. Here is another examle in the form of a dialogue between a coach and a client'
Client: 'Well, I would prefer to act sooner rather than later as I don't think the sickness is going to ease until I'm standing on firmer ground'.
Coach:'And how can you imagine this coming about?.
Client: Well, I'm scared to jump off but there are people around me who I could ask for help, someone might know a safe place to jump to.
Coach: And how would you do that?
Client: Well, I would call my friends over, tell them that I absoultely want to jump off the carousel and I'd ask them if they would be willing to help me find a safe place to land.
Metaphors can be used to gain a deeper understanding of problems and challenges with a view to exploring peoples options and creating a way forward. They can also be used to highten motivation, creativity and to create a visualisation of how they would like their ideal life to unfold.
I hope you will enjoy working with meataphors and your NLP skills will soar up like a brightly coloured kyte catching the wind, soaring up, up, to the greatest hights! Sorry, I couldn't resist ...
Using metaphors with ourselves or with a client can offer incredible insight into our unique perception of a certain situation, event or challenge. Talking via metaphors gives an individual the opportunity to see a situation from a new perspective in order to explore, in the comfort of their imagination, what needs to happen in order to move forward.
To get you thinking in terms of 'metaphors' have a practice with this simple warm up exercise:-
Finish each phrase with whatever sentence comes immediately to mind.
She woke up this morning feeling like …………………..
He knocked back the drink as if ………………..
The music made her feel ……………….
Nothing was the same, now that it was …………………
The smell of cut grass reminded her ………………..
The number 4 struck him as significant because …………………
The car came round the corner and towards her gate like ………….
He wanted to keep running but ……………
If she could just make it to the finish line she would feel like …………….
I hope that this exercise has stimulated your VAGOK systems and got your creative juices flowing.
Now think of a time recently when you were facing a particular challenge or problem. Can you remember how you felt at the time? Can you think of it in terms of a metaphorical analogy? For example; ' I felt like I was going round and round in circles, like I was on a carousel that would never stop. I was starting to feel sick but I had no idea whether it was safe to jump off, so I stayed on, going round and round in circles.'
This simple example can give us tremendous insight into how a particular problem 'feels' to the person experienceing the problem.
No consider how you would prefer to feel about this same problem. Here is another examle in the form of a dialogue between a coach and a client'
Client: 'Well, I would prefer to act sooner rather than later as I don't think the sickness is going to ease until I'm standing on firmer ground'.
Coach:'And how can you imagine this coming about?.
Client: Well, I'm scared to jump off but there are people around me who I could ask for help, someone might know a safe place to jump to.
Coach: And how would you do that?
Client: Well, I would call my friends over, tell them that I absoultely want to jump off the carousel and I'd ask them if they would be willing to help me find a safe place to land.
Metaphors can be used to gain a deeper understanding of problems and challenges with a view to exploring peoples options and creating a way forward. They can also be used to highten motivation, creativity and to create a visualisation of how they would like their ideal life to unfold.
I hope you will enjoy working with meataphors and your NLP skills will soar up like a brightly coloured kyte catching the wind, soaring up, up, to the greatest hights! Sorry, I couldn't resist ...
Friday, 9 April 2010
Timelines
Timelines
Where is your time line?
Think about something you did yesterday. Where did the picture of this event come from in your mind? Now think about an activity you started 2 days ago, where does this image start from? For most it will start in a different place. Do this for an event from 3 days ago, a week ago and even a month ago.
Do all your images and pictures originate from a different starting point? If you think of them all at the same time, do they form a line in relation to each other?
Now ask the same question for future events, do your future event images start from different points in your mind’s eye?
In most cases, if you align all your images from both the past and the future you will either have a selection of images creating a V shape or a straight line with past images coming from behind you and future events being in front of you?
Looking into your future
1. Create an anchor for the present time, this could be a cord that you can hold on to, so, if needed you find your way back to the present during your time on your timeline. Stopping you from “getting lost”
2. Imagine you can see your future in front of you, a future where you are at your best and at your peak performance. A future where everything has gone well for you and the future has happened as you wish it would, with you achieving all your goals.
3. Ask, what is the first image you can see in your future? Point to where this image originates from (ask them to point)
4. Do this for several important future events, each one going future into the future, until you can see yourself in the future full of knowledge and life experiences.
5. Holding on to the anchor-cord, walk down your time line at each future image; describe the event using VAK to help you become associated with the image.
6. Frame each future event and leave a symbol on the timeline to represent each future vision.
7. As you get to the end of your timeline, experiencing all the future positive events, taking on all the knowledge, feelings, images and sounds that ensures the future you is the best future you, you could be.
8. Imagine you are the positive future you who has achieved all your goals, look back down your timeline to the present you. If you were the future you and you could meet the present you, what advice would you give yourself.
9. Go back down your timeline, every time you pass a symbol representing your image, take the symbol with both hands and bring it to your chest, as you do this, gain all the knowledge and wisdom from this event.
10. As you return to the present you, take a deep breath and breathe in all the goodness and experiences you have gained by going into your future. How has this experience changed your outlook on the future?
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